Results (2015)

Writer & Director: Andrew Bujalski
Cinematographer: Matthias Grunsky
Composer: Justin Rice
Cast: Guy Pearce, Cobie Smulders, Kevin Corrigan, Giovanni Ribisi, Brooklyn Decker, Anthony Michael Hall, Constance Zimmer.

Had I known that this was another mumblecore movie I probably would have skipped it, because I really loathe this hipster-y mess of a genre. I cannot stand movies that are largely improvised (with the exception of Mike Leigh movies, because those are perfection). The stories tend to meander with no clear focus, the actors don’t really know what to do or say, the final result is always awkward and just plain terrible. Many people are probably not so familiar with the genre because the films produced with this label have been extremely low budget and have not garnered much attention, but in recent years a couple of directors have managed to become a bit more mainstream and have brought elements of mumblecore to their films, whose more famous cast makes it more likely people will take notice. The Duplass brothers, Joe Swanberg, and Bujalski are considered the most well known producers of this type of movie and Bujalski is the director of Results, which is a mess of a movie.

Kevin Corrigan plays Danny, a millionaire who is recently single and wants to get into shape. He walks into a gym one day and hires a trainer, Kat (Smulders), to come to his house to teach him how to work out. Danny is creepy and has such terrible social skills that his behavior is absurd and cartoonish. Danny’s weird behavior and problematic attempts to flirt with Kat causes the gym owner, Trevor (Pearce), to step in to serve as buffer between the two. Pearce and Smulder’s characters also are supposed to be interested in each other romantically, but mostly it just seems like everyone hates each other and thinks that screaming is an appropriate way to communicate. The only times the characters seem relaxed is while smoking pot.

There are lots of montages throughout the film (like, a lot, more than I’ve ever seen a movie employ) and elements and characters are introduced, only to be abandoned without another mention or explanation. Why is Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club) in this movie? Nobody knows! There is also a lot of jogging and running around. I get that it’s a movie about a gym, trainers, and working out, but it is truly bizarre how the film is cut and constructed. The end result: a weird movie with no point or, really, plot that is best avoided. If you must run, then run away from it towards something much better, trust me, it won’t be hard to find.

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